This post doesn’t contain affiliate links, if it did we probably wouldn’t have been hunched over the desk writing it and would instead lounging on a moderately clean beach somewhere.

We often get so caught up in the rat race, what’s trendy seems to take the place of what’s important in life.

This is when we can find ourselves losing things like:

Our ambition.

Our sense of purpose.

Our mojo.

Our car keys, dammit I just had those! I’d lose my fucking head if it wasn’t-

So what happened? And what can you do to get it back?

For as long as I can remember I’ve loved simplicity. Simple life, simple possessions, simple mind!

The more things that I take away from my life, the less I have weighing me down. I find that it’s nice to have nothing cluttering my brain or body, so large bowel movements are key here! The less I eat and the more I exude, the better I feel.

Use these helpful tips to set intentions in your life, use words like “healthy” or “good”, don’t use words like “bad” or “wrong” or “rat-faced bitch”. Be inflexible in your color story, sticking to mainly beiges and old milk shades. Inconvenience others with your self-care and don’t use your turn signals in heavy traffic. Really start thinking about your karmic role!

So without further ado, here’s some nifty ways to upgrade your day!
Start now, and in just seven eight ten days you’ll begin to be more like notice more to be the less would be good the best greatest yes!

5. Jack Daniels

*Photo and description courtesy of* *jackdaniels.com*

Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey is the world's best selling whiskey, with every drop distilled at the Jack Daniel Distillery in Lynchburg, Tennessee, America's oldest registered distillery, established in 1866. Made from the finest corn, rye, and barley malt, these choice grains are mixed with the iron-free water that flows from the Cave Spring found on the distillery grounds. From there Jack Daniel's is charcoal mellowed drop by drop through 10 feet of sugar maple charcoal which imparts it’s distinct smoothness. Finally, Jack Daniel's is matured in handcrafted white oak barrels of their own making.

4. Pimm’s

*Photo courtesy of* *comptoir-irlandais.com*

A traditionally British gin-based liqueur with bitter herbs and citrus, Pimm’s is a great option either store bought or homemade if you happen to have gin, sweet vermouth, and a bitter orange peel (or you’re already much too drunk to stumble over to the liquor store and have that unopened bottle of gin your parents gave you last year, some indiscriminate sweet booze and slightly spoiled fruit laying around).

Add a little sherry or simple syrup and fresh herbs for a fun twist on this sweet treat!

3. Tequila

*Photo courtesy of* *thecocktailbird.com*

does it really matter? it all tastes the same

2. Box Wine

Conveniently with square corners!

1. A 170-Year-Old Champagne Recovered From A Shipwreck

*Photo courtesy of* *ediblegeography.com*

If you find yourself deep sea diving near a shipwreck, be sure to examine the galley and wine selection onboard. Every once in a while these bottles come up for sale online, but are usually swept up by greedy bajillionaires, so plan your next trip to the bottom of the ocean today and get your hands on one of these puppies.

And if none of these suit your fancy, unleaded gasoline might be the way to go!

Blog title photo courtesy of: https://www.dreamstime.com/photos-images/being-productive.html

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